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He-woe In The Snow

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One thing that’s funny about snow in the south is how we will desperately try to find something to use to slide down an icy hill.  Besides the folks who buy 6 gallons of milk and 10 loaves of bread when they see a snowflake, lots of southerners will begin to search for anything that might give them a chance to take a icy, fast ride.  Most of the time their creations fail - but, it’s usually because there’s not enough snow on the ground. Hey, even an Olympic bobsled won’t work in a dusting of snow. However, on the rare occasion when we get a few inches of the white stuff, people will pull out you-name-it; garbage can lids, pieces of laminate, a cookie sheet, inner tubes, dog beds, even a cardboard box wrapped in a garbage bag, to  joy ride down a steep, slick incline.  Fortunately for me and my three boys,   years ago I built a nice wooden homemade sled. I even nailed a couple of flat curtain rods to the bottom, which made that sucker really fast. Most of th...
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Honk If You’ve Lost Your Car

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    Hey! It’s hard to believe that this is my 200th blog. As I looked over my writing for the last few years, I noticed that many of them had a common theme, namely me doing something stupid. This one is no exception. Read on.  I own a red Chevrolet pick up truck. When I bought it a few years ago, I decided that it would be a good idea to buy a bright color. That’s because on more than one occasion, I couldn’t find my old truck, a silver Toyota, at the local Piggly Wiggly. When you lose a vehicle in a small grocery store parking lot, it’s time to make some life changes.  Of course, misplacing your car for a few minutes at the Pig is nothing compared to my lost car episode in Minnesota.   During my sales career, I would fly into a city, and upon landing, head to the rental car desk, and always request a Ford Taurus. When you’re on the road, a little familiarity is a source of comfort. And I had rented so many Tauruses for so long I was familiar with all of...
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Grandmother Groupies

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  I heard a rumbling noise coming from the second floor of my house.  Since we almost never go up there, I thought that one of our dogs might’ve cornered a squirrel that somehow got in through the attic. I made my way up the stairs, walked in the bedroom, and saw enough stuff lying on the floor to have a yard sale.  It was my wife Carol rummaging through a closet. “What in the Wide World of Sports are you doing”, I asked.    She flashed a look of disdain and said, “I’m going through our old albums. I’ve got to find a couple to take to the concert. I’m going to get them autographed.”   I should’ve known. Tonight we were going to see a sixties band, Herman’s Hermits, featuring lead singer and Carol’s teen heartthrob, Peter Noone. For about a week, I’ve felt the anticipation building. Several times I’ve walked in our house and heard “I’m Henry The Eighth I Am” blasting away on our sound system. I have been reminded that posters of Noone, aka Herman, wer...
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Night In The City

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  “City Lights, the pretty lights, they can warm the coldest nights.”                Neon Rainbow                     The Box Tops 1969 There’s something special about city lights.  They are so pretty, so peaceful. I was a teenager the first time I really noticed them.  My friends and I climbed a condemned fire tower near Red Mountain in Birmingham. All of three of us were tightly focused on avoiding rotten or missing steps until we reached the top and faced the downtown skyline in the distance.  At once, we were mesmerized by the blanket of shimmering lights that lay before us. We felt like gods looking down on a starlit sky.  Traffic signals flashed red and green. Automobile headlights moved in glowing, flowing lines. Multi colored signs adorned the building tops. And all around them thousands them of street lights sparkled. It was like watching a beautiful woman...
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Drones Fell On Alabama

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  I recently saw another news special about the drone sightings over New Jersey. It’s scary; however, it’s not the first time there were unidentified objects over a metropolitan area. In the late 70s, lots of people in Birmingham periodically saw strange lights in the sky. I know because I’m the one that did it.   I have to make a confession: UFO‘s have always fascinated me. Maybe that’s because I watched The Day The Earth Stood Still when I was a kid, and it scared the bejeezus out of me. Scared or not, I would frequently buy UFO  magazines with my allowance.   In fact, I can still remember one of the articles I read 60 years ago. It told readers how to make fake UFOs using   dry cleaning bags, birthday candles, and drinking straws. Supposedly, they would drift high in the air with an unearthly glow. For whatever reason, that stuck with me. Maybe it’s because boys like the idea of making something that flies.   Years went by, and this nonsense was ...
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