My Life As A Hobby

  I still remember when my son gingerly placed my first newborn granddaughter in my arms. Well…he tried to. Just as I reached out to hold her for the first time, a woman in a dark business suit carrying a clipboard and an air of authority stepped between me and the newest member of my family. “Before you take possession of your grandchild, sir, you’ll need to review and sign this document.” “Sign? What am I signing?” This was a baby, not an extended warranty on a Buick. “The Grandparent Contract. I realize you haven’t done this before, but it’s standard procedure nowadays. Just makes things easier for everyone.” She handed me a document that appeared to contain more legalese than a rental car agreement. I began skimming the highlights. Section 1: Rule Enforcement The Grandparent acknowledges that all rules established by the parents shall remain in effect. However, the Grandparent retains emergency powers, including authorizing cookies before supper, extending bedtimes, an...

Recently, a group of us gathered at an empty floor of an office building.  There were people from all walks of life: attorneys, bankers, stockbrokers, teachers, and even an old writer. The secret club we formed in high school still meets regularly. Actually, this sounds a lot more impressive than it is. It is not the Illuminati or Knights Templar - it ain’t even the Shriners. We met on a deserted floor of an office building, not because of secrecy, but because it was the only place we could find. In actuality, our gathering is about as exclusive as members of Sam’s Wholesale Club.  In high school, it wasn’t a group of young scholars meeting to discuss literature, poetry, or current events. Most of us weren’t exactly the Future Leaders of America. In fact, if memory serves, several members of our club spent more time getting in trouble than preparing to become productive citizens. Nevertheless, our organization has a number of distinguished alumni, most of us now in early in ou...

It’s the sound more than the smell that takes me back. Not a loud sizzle like bacon, but quieter, softer. As a kid, when I heard a low hiss from a cast-iron skillet, I knew what it meant: supper was going to be hot dogs.  Hot dogs - also known as tube steaks, franks, weenies, or coneys, is a food that’s so deeply American we practically wrap them in the flag and give them a seat of honor at every Fourth of July barbecue. It’s hard to believe the hot dog, which we rank right up there with baseball and apple pie, actually came from German immigrants. Leave it to us to take another country’s wurst and make it our best.  Hot dogs established themselves as street food in New York City about 150 years ago. At first, it was a quick lunch for working men. Soon, their popularity grew to Coney Island and beyond. Summer officially marks the beginning of hot dog season in America. But growing up, it was a year-round meal in our house. My dad fancied himself a coney connoisseur, so th...