Not Woke And Not Broke
I just read where Steve Harvey said he won’t be doing stand up any more. And the reason is one that we have all heard before. Steve calls it the cancel culture. According to him, you have to watch every word you say for fear of reprisal from someone who gets their feelings hurt. In addition, if a joke isn’t in line with what you are “supposed to believe” you are going to get hammered.
What a shame. Steve Harvey is one of the funniest guys I’ve ever seen. Years ago, I was fortunate enough to open for him at the Comedy Club in Birmingham, Alabama. This was early in his stand up career. Even after watching his act a half dozen times, I still found myself howling with laughter. I knew he was on the fast track to the big time. And to have him quit stand up because of what he calls “political correctness” is a huge loss for anyone with a sense of humor.
Of course, Steve’s 100% correct. People just can’t take a joke anymore. And of all the perpetrators, colleges are the among the worst. Colleges and universities used to pride themselves on allowing free speech and unpopular ideas. But not any more. Now on most campuses, you face censure, or outright condemnation, if you don’t fit their narrative. Unbelievably, a few schools are even reserving the right to pay comedians based on the content of their act. I’m sure the Chinese government would be proud. Facing this kind of ridiculous scrutiny, many top shelf comics refuse to perform at colleges any more.
I learned this lesson the hard way several years ago, when a harmless joke in my act offended someone at a college gig. What’s worse for me, the school was my Alma Mater, the University of Alabama.
It looked like a sweet corporate gig. I was booked to perform at the university’s Secretary Appreciation Day. I’m sure I got the job because, 1) I was funny, and 2) my corporate set was pretty clean and non offensive. By doing hundreds of corporate shows, I had crafted about 45 minutes of material that was suitable for most grandmothers. I had even performed at church events with no real problem. So, doing my act in front of hundreds of administrative assistants who had just eaten a nice meal, got some door prizes, and were in a good mood, seemed to be easy comedy pickings.
The day of the gig, I went through my standard ritual for performing: arrive early to meet the event planner and go over the details of the gig, noting any last minute changes they may have. Then check the stage and the sound system, find a seat, and look over my notes. I would wait, give a standard corporate performance, and pick up my check.
I finally stepped on stage and began my routine. At first, I remember noticing that it was taking a little while for the group to warm up. It happens. You never expect a corporate crowd to be as “hot” as one in a comedy club, but it was still nothing to worry about.
About 20 minutes into my set, I began doing jokes on mobile homes. That’s because as a southern comic, I’m required to do them by law. I don’t obsess over the topic; It’s just about a half dozen jokes, beginning with a tried and true one I’ve been doing for years:
“You see things on southern highways you don’t see in other parts of the country, like this half a mobile home. Sometimes there’s not another half behind it - just half. And I always wondered why they make them in two equal parts and one day, it hit me. It makes redneck divorce settlements real easy.”
“You don’t need a judge to split up their estate, just a guy with a box wrench.”
This room didn’t explode in laughter as I expected, but the joke did reasonably well. I went into a follow up:
“I’m so glad that I never had to live in one of those things, because they scare me. Think about what the weatherman says every time there’s a tornado. ‘ If you live in a mobile home - get out! Go outside - and find a low lying area.’ Do you realize what he’s saying? The place you live ain’t as safe as a ditch.”
Again, a decent crowd response, but it didn’t shake the rafters. So, after a couple more jokes on the subject, I moved on to other topics.
Within a few minutes, I noticed the event planner in the back of the room waving at me, obviously trying to get my attention. When I nodded to her in acknowledgement, she made a slashing motion by sliding her finger across her throat. I knew she either wanted me to get off stage, or to do some OJ Simpson jokes. I wisely chose the former, wrapped up, and stepped off stage, wondering why my act was cut short. “Maybe the administration wanted them to get back to work.”, I thought.
Little did I know that I was about to have the honor of being one of the first comedians to be introduced to the wonderful world of woke.
I walked up to the event planner, and asked, ”Is everything Ok? I know you cut me short.”
She smiled nervously and said, “Joe, there’s someone here who would like to talk to you.”
At that point, she introduced to some muckity muck in the English department. I don’t remember her name, but I do remember that expression on her face. She looked like someone who had just taken a big swig of Kaopectate.
She came out swinging. “I just want you to know that you have upset some of our secretaries. Several of them live in trailers, and when you did those jokes, they were offended”.
For a few seconds I didn’t speak. I just stared at her like a dog staring at a ceiling fan. Finally I said, “You’re kidding, right?” There is no way she was being serious. I looked around for a hidden camera. That was the only logical explanation to explain this bizarre sequence of events.
She answered me, saying, “No. I’m not kidding. They just came here to have a good time, but they couldn’t enjoy themselves after they heard those remarks you made about where they live.”
I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, but it began to dawn on me that this was indeed a serious conversation. My disbelief began to turn into a smoldering anger. Still, I kept my cool - but I was certainly not going to let this go unchallenged.
“Just so you know, I have been doing those exact same jokes for years,” I rebutted. “I’ve done them in comedy clubs, and for no telling how many corporate events. I’ve done them all over the country. And everywhere I’ve done these very same jokes, people love them. You’re the first person that has ever said anything critical about that material. What does that say? That you are in a very small minority. If you really feel this way about some jokes as harmless as these, then you don’t have a clue what comedy is about.”
This was the beginning of a fairly intense 15 minute discussion. I did not show my disgust, but I was emphatic about my point of view, and didn’t give an inch. I was angry when I thought how one woman and 3 or 4 offended people could stop a show, when the other 500 people were enjoying it.
Finally, I said, “This is going nowhere. I’m not going say anything to change your opinion and there’s nothing you can ever say that is going to change mine. So we will agree to disagree. However, just know that you and your little group are dead wrong. I am sure of that.”
With that I turned, thanked the event coordinator, and walked out of the student center. Fortunately, I received my check before I went on stage. I got in my car, headed directly to the closest bank, and cashed that check. I might be a comedian, but I was pragmatic.
I was going to be sure they didn’t get the last laugh.
So, I’m sorry Steve. We will miss your standup. I feel your pain.
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#theycanttakeajoke
#wokecultureiscensorship
#SteveHarveybestcomicever
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