Rasslin' - It’s Not Fake - Is It?

Our usual Sunday post-church visit to my grandparents house was unusual that day. Things were kind of quiet. Normally, when my sister and I barged thru the front door like a giant pitcher of Kool Aid, we were greeted by my grandfather. He would fold up the Sunday paper and stand up to say hello.  However, on this particular day, he just sat in his recliner, barely speaking to us. 

We went straight to the kitchen to report this odd behavior to my grandmother.  

“Memaw, is something wrong with granddaddy?”, I asked. 

My grandmother nodded and said, “Well, honey, your granddaddy had kind of a bad night last night.” 

“What happened?”

“We went to see his doctor on Friday, and doc’s been telling him to quit getting so excited about things because it’s not good for his heart. Well, your grandfather didn’t listen, and the doctor finally laid down the law.  He said granddaddy can’t watch wrestling anymore. And last night was the first Saturday night he had to do without it.”

You read it right. My grandfather was convinced that pro wrestling was real.  And he got so worked up over fake wrestling that he was banned from watching it because he might have a heart attack.  I had a hard time believing this.  I was just 12 years old and I already knew that it wasn’t real.  Still, this was big news. Never seems like a long time. 

“No more?”, I asked. 

“No more,” she said. He just gets too worked up over it.”

That was the truth. My grandfather did indeed get worked up over wrestling, or should I say ‘rasslin.  There is a big difference between the two. For example,  I’ve ever seen an Olympic wrestler smash a folding chair over his opponent’s head. That could certainly hurt your chances of getting a gold medal. However, in ‘rasslin, the chair smash could  help you win the championship belt. ‘Rasslin also features eye pokes, hair pulling, ear yanks, and a number of other bad-guy tactics that the refs never seem to see. However, the good guys had the feared Sleeper Hold - a sure fire way to victory. 

Granddaddy knew every wrestler, good and bad; from Tojo Yamamoto, to Mr. Wrestling #1 and 2, to Bearcat Brown.  But his hero, his absolute favorite, was Len Rossi. Back in those days, Rossi was to fake ‘rasslin what Roy Rogers was to cowboys. He had matinee good looks and an athletic physique, unlike so many of the other wrestlers who looked like they had seen more than a few buffet lines. And he believed in truth, justice, and the American way. So, if any of the bad ‘rasslers did Len Rossi wrong, my grandfather would whoop and holler. 

I saw it first hand. One Saturday,  I  spent the night with my grandparents, and noticed that granddaddy began nervously checking his watch about 10 o’clock. Then he began adjusting the rabbit ears on the TV so that the picture was perfect when his favorite show,  Channel 42 Wrestling,  came on at 10:30 PM.  Within minutes, he was on the edge of his seat screaming, “He’s pulling his hair!  How can that referee not see that? Once in a tag team match, Tojo Yamato and one of his henchmen were both in the ring, mercilessly fake stomping on poor Len Rossi. My grandfather blurted out angrily,  ”Somebody outta call the po-lice on them!”  I hid my head in a pillow to keep from laughing out loud. 

Channel 42 had live ‘rasslin every Saturday night. A ring was set up in the studio and a small crowd of about 100 fans were in attendance - sitting in folding chairs, of course. It was local programming at it’s finest. There were certainly no fog machines or lasers like wrestling has nowadays.  A gentleman named Sterling Brewer was the host of the show - a voice of calm in a sea of madness. He always signed off by saying,”Be a good sport, and give God a chance,” which seemed odd after watching 90 minutes of hair-pulling, eye poking, chair slamming, and other decidedly un-Christian activities. 

In reality, Channel 42 Wrestling was an  advertisement for the big Monday night matches. Every Saturday evening wrestlers hijacked the camera - the winners to boast of their victory, and the losers to swear vengeance.  One thing both sides agreed on: things would be set straight on Monday night. It worked, too. Without fail,  thousands of fans would pack the downtown auditorium every week to see how it all played out. 

In 1989, pro wrestling finally admitted that it was entertainment, not an actual athletic competition - in other words, fake.  What a stunning statement.  I guess next we’ll hear that the Titanic sank. 

Despite their confession,  wrestling, or the “sports entertainment” industry, as it began to call itself, continued to grow.  Tens of thousands of people filled coliseums all over the country. Televised events drew big ratings. Why?  It’s simple. ‘Rasslin is just a soap opera for guys.  Both of them have heroes, villains, lies, deceit, plot twists, cheating, treachery,  revenge, redemption, drama, trauma, and outcomes that have been decided. 

But you would’ve never convinced my grandfather it was fake. Until his dying day, he believed wrestling was real -  and that the moon landing was fake.  

Joe Hobby is a comedian from Alabama who wrote for Jay Leno for many years. 

Find more of Joe’s stories on his blog: https://mylifeasahobby.blogspot.com/?m=1. Also, follow him on Facebook at: Joe Hobby Comedian- Writer