Bicycles - Schwinners & Losers

An old JC Higgins bike that looks a lot like mine did. It has the wrong color seat, of course  

I guess as far as bicycles go, I was born too early. By the time those fancy bikes with banana seats, long handlebars and small tires came out, it was too late for me. By that time, I already had the bike that would last me for my entire youth, and it didn’t resemble Jack Nicholson’s motorcycle in Easy Rider. Nope. One Christmas, I got a big ol’JC Higgins bicycle that Santa obviously bought at Sears and Roebuck. 

This was an American bike for an American kid. It had more iron in it than a new Toyota does . A long bar running from the back to the front let everyone know that it was strictly for boys. The cherry red frame contrasted sharply with the chrome fenders and chain guard. It even had a bullet shaped headlight on the handlebars. If you were lucky, you got a weak beam for about 12 minutes before the batteries needed replacing. Whitewall tires and an uncomfortable black seat completed the look. The bike also had a curious spring-like contraption on  the front fender that resembled a giant mouse trap. It was made to hold books, or specifically a book, because if you tried to put more than one in its jaws, a bump would leave them scattered all over the road. 

The big problem with being a new bike owner was now I had to learn how to ride it. Unfortunately, the luxury of practicing on a level church parking lot was several dangerous blocks away, and the topography of my immediate neighborhood was not bike-friendly. Our home on Hickory Drive was located in a little flat spot between two big hills. So once I got beyond the safety of our driveway, there was less than 100 feet of level pavement until it gave away to a steep incline that climbed to the left, and a longer slope which flowed to the right.  If you accidentally went beyond the downhill point of no return, you got a quick, and usually painful, lesson on the power of gravity. Before you knew it, you and your bike would be swept away like a leaf in a creek, only to wipe out about halfway down.  We nicknamed it Mercurochrome Mountain.  

After a couple of months, a few bruises, and several scraped knees, I eventually became a bike rider. I even learned how to slow down using the backpedal coaster brakes. Now the  neighborhood hills that once terrified me as a novice became an exciting source of kiddie adrenaline. 

Soon I discovered that the 

bicycle was a means to expand my ever-growing world. A trip to a friend’s house that took 30 minutes on foot became a 10 minute bike ride. We began to make frequent trips to a small neighborhood store to get  Grapicos, and candy cigarettes.   

Even a shopping center that used to require my Mom to haul us in her ‘63 Impala was within bike range. This became a regular destination for me and my buddies. We quickly discovered a route that kept us off the main roads. It was simply several turns thru some subdivisions that gave us a few more of those long, steep hills we had become addicted to. Rose, Carol, and Callahan Drive still evoke fond, fast memories to me. Attaining speeds approaching 40 miles an hour on a bicycle wasn’t without its dangers. My friend Mark lost control of his bike on Callahan and earned himself a trip to the hospital.  I’ll bet some of his skin is still imbedded in the asphalt of that street.  

There was never a need to use a lock on our bikes.  We could park them in front of a department store and come back an hour later, confident they were still there. And they were.  

Bicycles like my old JC Higgins are coveted by collectors now.  That’s because don’t make ‘em like they used to. Now bikes are not only better, but more complicated than their predecessors. And more expensive. A good bike can cost a few thousand dollars today. Their complex gearing systems make it possible to travel over all kinds of terrain, and reach consistent speeds for long distances. In addition, they aren't any old fashioned backpedal coaster brakes; instead bikes are equipped with a hand braking system that stop both tires. 

When I became an adult I broke down, bought a 10 speed bike, and began riding with a new group of friends.  Now trips to the shopping center were replaced by much longer rides in the countryside. We even wore bike helmets and bike pants - those spandex creations that make you look like you escaped from a yoga class. Silly? Yes - but they eliminate the fear of getting your jeans caught in the chain.  If you’ve ever done it, you know this is a fair trade off. And they do look better than slipping a rubber band over each pant leg. 

Yes, a lot a changed since I rode my JC Higgins bicycle so many years ago. But one thing has remained constant all these years.  That black 

bike seat is still as uncomfortable now as it ever was.