The Name Game

Hey, JoeHobby! How are you doing, JoeHobby? JoeHobby, can you come here for a minute?

It’s a funny thing about my name. So many people use my first and last name together when talking to or about me. I don’t get “Joe”, or “Hobby” as much as I get “JoeHobby.” One of my creative fraternity brothers even switched the order and called me “HobbyJoe.” 

Apparently, I have a  combination of two names that somehow sounds like one.   Believe it or not, I’ve given this a lot of thought. Maybe it’s the sing-song cadence of saying both names that makes so many people do it, including my own wife. During a recent trip to the doctor she was asked who her emergency contact was. When she responded, “JoeHobby.” The receptionist looked at her strangely and paused. Then she said,”Ohh, that’s his full name. At first, I thought you were saying one word.”

She was. 

What’s worse, the word “Hobby” can rhyme with most anything, so I’ve been called Slobby, Nobby, and Blobby. I just got a text from an old college buddy that began, “Hey, Robby Hobby.” Needless to say, there are a few others that don’t need to appear in print. 

There were countless times during my sales career when a receptionist would push the intercom button and say, “You have a Mr. Hobby in the lobby,” This was usually followed by schoolgirl giggling when she realized she was a poet and didn’t know it. Many of them would even look at me and ask, “Have you ever heard that before?”  

I always responded, “That’s the first time… today.”

And then as often as not it’s followed with,“Do you have a hobby, Mr. Hobby?” I know they think it’s clever and so did I - the first hundred thousand times I heard it. Maybe just once I should’ve answered, “Yes. I have a hobby. I’m a part time serial killer that targets receptionists.”

I’m not the only one.  I know there are other names that have to be rhyming nightmares. For example, I can  imagine that Adolf Hitler was tormented by his classmates on the playground - especially when you think about the word that rhymes with Hitler. Maybe that’s why he was obsessed with ruling the world - that would show all those little kids who made fun of his name.

And much closer to home - have you ever thought of how much grief the furniture guy named Badcock took while he was in school?  

It’s not just rhyming. I never cease to be amazed  how many people misspell my name  It’s not that difficult. H-O-B-B-Y.  It’s a very old basic name from Middle England. Nevertheless, I’ve had countless memos directed to Mr. Hobbie. That one is forgivable. But Mr. Hubley, Mr. Hoppy, Mr. Hotley Mr.Hobie, even Mr. Holley - those aggravate me. Once someone sent me a letter addressed to Mr. Hottie. I still have that one because I always wanted to be a hottie.  

These days it seems that lots of names are more difficult to spell and pronounce because they’re  more unusual. For example, I’ve noticed that now it’s in vogue for parents to name their kids after certain towns and cities. I have to admit some of them sound really cool - like Brooklyn, Paris, Orlando, and Savannah. Supposedly, it’s because the Mom and Dad want to name their child after the place they were conceived. 

At least that’s what my friend Camaro told me.