My Life As A Hobby

Well, in just a few days it’s going to happen. A small number of students at the University of Alabama will discover  that a dinosaur still exists - one that is quite rare, but aren’t quite extinct.   Specifically, this variety of dinosaur walks slowly on two legs, carry’s  an iPad ., and gets a Social Security check.  The scientific name is Antiquitus Academius , which is commonly known as “very  old student”. And if you haven’t guessed,  the dinosaur is me - a 71 year-old man who’s headed back to college. Even though I’m merely auditing a course on magazine writing ,  I will guarantee you I’m the oldest student on campus during the fall semester.   In the world of academia, going back to college school  in your late thirties is considered ancient. At 71, I’m sure to be considered prehistoric. I’m older than the professor, for goodness sake. Rather than be embarrassed by the situation, I’ve decided to have fun with it. For example, ...

There are a lot of sci-fi movies and Twilight Zone episodes about someone who invents a time machine and goes back in time to make a change in their lives.  However, they soon discover it causes huge repercussions in the present day.  But what happens when part of your past comes back into your life in the here and now? I think the honest answer is: you can’t be sure. It depends on the circumstances.  I’ll let you know. That’s because last week I checked my voicemail and discovered a very unusual message. It was from Jean, a girl from my distant past, who wanted to talk to me. I was genuinely surprised for two reasons: It was almost 50 years ago - that’s a half-century, folks. Our relationship ended when she broke it off with me. That hurt eventually mellowed into fond memories I’ve pressed between the pages of my mind, like an old flower. I revisit them now and again. I’ve even written about the breakup, because I believe the pain of loss is an important life lesson t...

“Laughter is the best medicine” is a cliché everyone knows. And it is based on the truth. Studies have shown that laughter relieves stress, releases endorphins, and helps your overall well-being.   But in the case of cancer, I don’t think it’s true. If my doctor wants to treat me with radiation or show me a video of the Three Stooges, I’ll take the radiation every time.   Of course, if you have friends who are comedians, you can count on them to try laughter therapy on you anyway. I’ll admit, I was more than appreciative when Jay Leno gave me a call after hearing about my recent bout with cancer. And I’m thankful that my old writing partner, John Martin, let him know. I wasn’t surprised he reached out. What you see on camera is who he is - a genuine good guy. When my mom was in a serious car wreck, Jay called regularly to check on her. When my oldest son got into some bad trouble, Jay always asked about him. However, when I picked up the phone I knew better than to expec...

  I drifted back into consciousness expecting to see smiling faces; after all, it wasn’t supposed to be major surgery. Yes, they removed a knot on my neck, and yes, they had called it a tumor, but the ultrasound and biopsy indicated everything should be fine, even though the bump, about the size of a deviled egg, was officially classified as “suspicious.” No one seemed worried. We even gave the tumor a name: Tyrone. I was told that after about an hour under anesthesia, with a few precise cuts by my capable surgeon, I’d be on my way home by early afternoon. No problems, aside from my throat, which would feel like two tomcats had fought a death match in there. However, there were problems. Fortunately, I wasn’t aware of them before the slicing and dicing began. But when your post-surgery visit begins with the doctor shaking his head and saying, “Your procedure was one of the most difficult ones I’ve ever done,” everything changes. In that moment, my minor surgery became major surg...

  There are lots of things folks complain about in this day and time.  We use so many cheap, substandard  products from China that aren’t  worth the cardboard they’re shipped in.   Fast food doesn’t even taste like food anymore.  Most of the time it isn’t even fast.  And don't get me started talking about folks who complain about something like a new Superman movie.  Some of them say things like “it wasn’t that realistic.”  I’d like to remind these people that Superman is a comic book character who comes from a planet that never existed.   Maybe the apocalypse is closer than I believed.  This is another story for another time. However, one thing that nobody should complain about, is the medical care we have in the 21st century. We may rightfully gripe about the shortfalls of the healthcare system -  the one that can make the government look efficient, or the ridiculous profiteering that makes it unfair; however, the quality...

                         “Our house is a very, very, very fine house.”                                                                        “Our House”                                             Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young Like so many kids my age, I grew up in a suburban neighborhood. We lived in a red brick house that sat on a large lot, peppered with pines and hardwoods. My parents bought the place on the eastern side of Birmingham when I was about six years old. At first glance, it appeared to be just another house on another street in another subdivision. However, it was much more than that to me. So many of my chi...