I Can See Clearly Now

At 71 years old, the time has come. One of the last parts of my body that was still working properly finally needs help and needs it now. No, it’s not that, you sickos. It’s my eyes. At long last I’m joining the millions of people who need to wear glasses. It all started when my grandkids began reading road signs to me from the back seat before I could read them myself. I realized they were helping, not showing off. Soon I began to notice that oncoming vehicles looked like big, blurry globs of light. What made that disturbing was it was in broad daylight. Finally, when I mistook a mailbox for a possum on a tree limb, I knew it was time to accept reality. I put my vanity on the shelf, and officially become a spectacle wearer. Shortly after my eye test, I was herded into an adjacent shop where there were hundreds of glasses frames beautifully displayed. It reminded me of how Disney steers you through a souvenir store when you exit a ride. But I’m not stro...