My Life As A Hobby

There are some people who just have a knack for doing certain things better than everyone else.  For example, when it comes to buying cars, my friend Richard Petty is one of the best. No, it’s not that Richard Petty.   But it’s no coincidence that his name is synonymous with automobiles because this man can negotiate car deals.   If buying new cars was an Olympic sport, he’d be a gold medalist.   He just finished purchasing one yesterday, and I truly wished he’d worn a GoPro camera.   Fortunately, I did get a blow by blow account of the proceedings via live texts he was sending me.   I was entertained for a couple of hours.  I’m sure after he’s finished striking a deal Richard has to smoke a cigarette.  He’s like a vampire. I don’t think he needs the vehicle, he just periodically needs to feed off an automobile salesman.  Unlike most carbon based life forms who detest buying cars and haggling with salespeople, Richard loves it.  Storie...

During the sixties I was a kid growing up in Birmingham.  And downtown was the center of my universe.  I’m sure it’s difficult for millennials to comprehend a world without malls or upscale strip centers.  But back then that was the reality. Air conditioned food courts, fountains, indoor merry go rounds, and  Cinnabons were unimaginable.  The suburbs did have a few shopping centers with grocery stores, drug stores, and five & dimes, but to do any serious shopping you went to downtown Birmingham.  Of course that involved visiting the two retail icons of that era:  Loveman’s and Pizitz.   These department stores had everything. We always bought my annual Easter outfit here.  I got my hair cut at Loveman’s.  Both stores had great sporting goods departments, restaurants, and their toy sections were unmatched. If Pizitz or Loveman’s didn’t have it, you didn’t need it.  Our family made a pilgrimage to Loveman’s every Christmas season ...

  In a way, it’s part circus - complete with a barker and strange onlookers.  It can be loud and raucous. The only thing missing is a bearded lady.  I’m talking about an auction, and I attend them regularly.   Since I have a couple of booths in an antique mall, auctions and estate sales are important sources of inventory for me.   And they’re fun!   I enjoy watching the people. And of course, bidding wars are always entertaining. It’s amazing what people buy when they get caught up in the emotion of the hunt.  If you go to an auction and intend to participate, keep in mind that there are a few rules you need to be aware of.  Break one at your own peril.   The first rule: be careful not to do anything that the auctioneer might interpret as bidding.  At one auction I got the hiccups and bobbed my head a number of times.  I ended up spending $95 on a ball point pen.  The second and most important rule is one that I break ...

  I just got through watching one of those UFO programs on the Discovery Channel.  It’s embarrassing to admit I periodically look at these things, because I think of myself as being reasonably intelligent.   And I certainly don’t have the characteristics of a UFO abductee, because my home doesn’t have wheels on it.  But they have always fascinated me.  Even when I was a kid, I would frequently buy UFO books and magazines with my allowance.   In fact, I can still remember one of the articles I read over 50 years ago. It told readers how to make a fake UFO using simple household items like a dry cleaning bag, birthday candles, and drinking straws.  According to the author, you could easily create a balloon that would drift high in the air with an unearthly glow.  For whatever reason, that resonated with me.  Maybe it’s because boys always like the idea of building something that can fly.  Or perhaps I wanted to do my own personal version o...