A Prank Call - From Hollywood

 

It’s hard to believe that it’s almost been a year since I began writing newspaper columns. It has gone by fast!  I especially remember the first piece I did,  for a lot of reasons.  Some of you may recall it: I told everyone how I began writing one-liners for the Tonight Show. In fact, I titled it, “The First Joke - Thanks Leno!” 

As soon as it was published, I began basking in the glow of  being a real live columnist - and fretting over the newspaper photo that makes me look old and fat. Which is probably because I am old and fat. 

Several days later, I’m sitting at home, probably enriching my life by watching a TV show about UFOs, when my cell phone rings.  The screen shows the caller as an “unavailable number”. Nope. I don’t need anyone to tell me this is the last chance to get my car warranty extended.  Two minutes later, the phone rings again, another call from “unavailable number”. Click. Two minutes later, I get the same call.  “I’ll give this Indian operator something to remember,” I thought.  I answered, mooed like a cow, and hung up. 

Two minutes later, Ol’ Unavailable calls me again. I can’t believe it. I do admire  persistence, so I decide to answer and personally say that I’m not interested.  They deserve that. I click the phone, say, “Hello”, and…it’s not someone from New Delhi.  Instead, a familiar voice says loudly, “Hobby, this is Leno.  Do you owe somebody money?”  Answer your phone!”

Oh Lord, it was Jay Leno. At least he didn’t say anything about my cow imitation. I managed to recover quick enough to say, “Well, Mister Hollywood, if your phone didn’t say ‘unavailable number’, I might’ve picked up on the first call.”

We chatted for a few minutes,  and then the conversation went in an unexpected direction when he said, “Hey, I saw your article in that newspaper. I liked it. It was pretty good.” 

What a surprise. How Jay Leno  saw my column in an Alabama newspaper is beyond me. NBC must have people who police social media, and when the article popped up, it was probably forwarded to him. No matter how he got it, I was flattered by what he said. Insecure writers always need assurance.  But, I had to remain glib - after all, it was Leno.  

“I’m sure you liked it,” I replied.   “I made you look good.” 

This story reminded me of another phone blooper that involved Jay.  Years ago, I decided to reach out to him for some comedic advice. So I called…and called…and called. Nothing but the answering machine. Finally, on about the thirty fifth call, I began using some inappropriate language as I hung up. But, I didn’t leave a message.  I never did.  

A few days later, I returned from lunch to find the message light blinking on my office phone. 

“Hey, Hobby!  It’s Jay. Give me a call when you get a chance.”

Leno!  Why was he calling me? At work, no less. This was an unusual call. Maybe he wanted me to be his opening act in Vegas. Could he even want me  to do the Tonight Show?  Or was it to offer me a full time staff writing job?  I picked the phone off it’s cradle and punched in his number as fast as my fingers could go. This time he picked up. 

“Hey Jay, it’s Hobby”, I gushed.  “How are you?”  Tonite Show, here I come. 

“Hee, Hee,” I got the trademark Leno laugh before he began. “I’m good, good. Hey, I just wanted you to know that I think one of your boys called me the other day.  I got a message on my machine with a lot of swearing.  So, I called the number back and a kid answered. I pretended to be a phone company employee investigating prank calls.  He told me that he didn’t know anything about them. So, I asked for his father’s name, and he said Joe Hobby. I thought, well that explains it.” 

I sank in my chair. I knew who made the prank call - it was me!  Apparently Jay’s answering machine was running as I hung up the phone. There was nothing to do now but confess. 

“Umm, It wasn’t my son,” I said meekly.  “I think I did it. I had been trying to call you and the last time I started swearing when I hung up. I guess the machine recorded it.”

Leno began laughing again, obviously pleased to have busted me.  At least we weren’t face-timing, so he couldn’t see my humiliation.  

When we hung up, I began thinking about what just happened.  At the time Leno was the King of Late Night - he hosted the Tonight Show!  Everyday he had monologues to write, comedy skits to practice, and background preparation for his guests. And yet he took time  to make a prank call to a child that he thought pranked him.  It’s totally believable if you know him - Jay has always been a kid at heart. 

That’s probably why we’ve always gotten along. 

Joe Hobby is a comedian from  Alabama who wrote for Jay Leno for many years. 

Find more of Joe’s stories on his blog: https://mylifeasahobby.blogspot.com/?m=1. Also, follow him on Facebook at: Joe Hobby Comedian- Writer