Spam - Not Just Meat Anymore!

 

There was a time not too long ago when Spam was just canned meat.  You know Spam. It’s one of the most iconic American brands of all time.  During World War Two, our GIs ate 100 million cans of it. It was a perfect food for soldiers- meat with a looooong shelf life.  Now, this stuff certainly ain’t healthy - it’s full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, but it helped us win World War Two. As a side effect, the US military spread the Gospel of Spam  to countries all over the world.  Japan and Thailand are major Spam markets to this day. It’s still very popular in Hawaii where it caught on because of our military bases. Hawaiian McDonald’s even serve it on their breakfast platters. When my wife returned from a recent trip to Honolulu, her coming home gift to me was a can of Spam-flavored macadamia nuts. That is not a typo.  They are still in a can in our pantry. Some flavors are not meant to be married.

Growing up, Spam was an old friend in our house, although I never realized it was a go-to when things got tight.  Spam sandwiches?  Yep.  Spam in place of country fried steak? Check. Spam for breakfast? Sure. Is it a coincidence that Spam and eggs sounds like ham and eggs? I don’t think so.  I’m just glad that I never saw that gel Spam was packed in or I probably would’ve never eaten it.  I also had more than a few cans in college when preparing gourmet meals was not at the top of my to-do list. I’m embarrassed to say I can recall eating Spam right out of the can. 

Despite its presence in grocery stores for almost a century, nowadays Spam has taken on an another meaning - it’s a term for electronic junk mail, thanks to a Monty Python skit. At best, it’s aggravating to go thru tons of unsolicited messages sent out in bulk. Consider this fact: by some estimates, 90% of all internet traffic is spam. At worst, spam can contain malware and phishing links that can cause nightmares.  Spam on a computer is a lot like a Spam on a grocery store shelf.  It looks good on the outside, and you’d like to open it, however, you’re not sure what’s on the inside, but you know it’s probably bad for you.

In case you haven’t realized it, electronic spam is a clue to your age.   Anyone who looks at your email can tell about how old you are by the kind of spam that you receive. For example: 

20’s -  Drink this daily for a flat belly. 

40’s  - Amazing new discovery removes wrinkles forever!

50’s - Free saw palmetto pills work magic on your prostate.  Cheap generic Viagra is now available from Canada. 

Early 60’s - Miracle drug removes skin tags, Reverse mortgages give you cash now.   New low-cost miracle hearing aids. AARP membership. Biblical flower that can be used for hemorrhoids. 

Late 60’s - Save on your final burial costs.

70’s and above - Get your Rolling Stones tickets now!