A Chip Off The Ol’ Block

I have to admit, when I first heard the story I was conflicted.  The Dad in me was very concerned that my son would behave  disrespectfully towards an authority figure.  But, in all honesty, The Comic in me was elated.  You may not know this, but all comedians rejoice when one of their own hammers a heckler that deserves it.  And when the person doing the hammering is your son, well, that makes it even better.  

As many of you know, I have three boys. And I can see a little of me in all of them. My oldest son Matt loves classic rock n roll, and is very artistic.  His favorite medium is pencil and ink, just like his Dad.  My youngest son Brad loves practical jokes.  He also has a running commentary about stupid things he sees. And he’s competitive.  That’s me. 

Then there’s my middle son Jeff. He has a lightning fast wit, and loves puns, jokes, and wordplay.  He’s skilled at all three.  My wife Carol laughs a lot harder at him than she does me.  If Jeff could’ve taken the rejection while learning the craft, he could have been a standup comedian. Plus everyone likes him.  

I’ve exposed the boys to comedy whenever I could.  Once when I was working with Dave Coulier, I arranged for Matt and Jeff to meet him backstage.  This was a major Dad coup, because at the time Full House was the rage on television.  A few years later, I took Brad and his girlfriend backstage to chat with Sinbad.  This scored big Parent Points too. I was glad to give my boys something that most kids didn’t get to experience.  

This leads us to George Wallace - the comedian.  I worked with George once and loved him. A very nice guy and one heck of a stand up.  He’s a comic’s  comic.  If I wasn’t working, I made it a point to catch his act when he was in town.     

On one of these occasions I took Jeff with me. I knew he would like George’s rapid fire delivery and his comments on all things stupid.  From backstage we watched his show and Jeff took in every line. He was especially interested when George did “snaps” with the audience.  These are also known as “Yo’ Momma” jokes.  Yo’ Momma’s so ugly, so fat, so dumb, etc.  George has hundreds of them.  I was sure Jeff was storing some of these to use at a later date. It was much sooner than I expected. 

After our big weekend, Jeff was back in school, suffering through his high school English class.  It didn’t help that his teacher was Mrs. McGee. I don’t think Jeff was one of her favorites, and the feeling was mutual.  I even had a run in with her about one of his papers.  There was always a chance that something could happen in her class.  And on this particular day, it did.  

To Jeff’s credit, he came straight home and told us the whole story.  For some reason, he didn’t seemed to be stressed at all.  

We listened carefully while he recounted what happened. “Well, the class was almost over, and Mrs. McGee was talking to all of her dancers.”

We nodded.  Both of us knew that she was a sponsor of the school’s dance team.   

“Anyway, they were trying to decide on  the nicknames that should be on their team jackets.  Everybody was talking, and then the name for Mrs. McGee’s jacket came up. Lots of people were shouting out suggestions for her nickname, and I yelled, ’How about Big Mac?’  I promise I wasn’t talking about her weight.  But she thought I was.”

I rolled my eyes.  Like Jeff, Mrs. McGee was a bit on the chunky side.  I knew another parent - teacher conference was coming up soon.  

Jeff kept going.  “Then she looked at me real mean and said, ‘I don’t know why you said that Jeff Hobby.  You’re certainly not thinnest person in this classroom.”   

My eyes met Carol's.  She shouldn't have said that.  I expect more out of a teacher. 

 “So I remembered one of George Wallace’s snaps and said, ‘Well, all I’ve got to say, is that the last time you saw 90210, you were looking at your scale.’”

Jeff!”,  Carol yelled. He just stood there smiling.      

The Dad in me spoke first, saying,      ”You probably shouldn’t have said that son.”

Now Jeff was grinning.  “Well, she started it.  And I finished it.”  

Then The Comic in me took over, and insisted I ask my son the question that he wanted to know.  

“ Ummm… well, did they laugh?”

Jeff exclaimed proudly, “Oh Dad!  It was pandemonium.  The last 5 minutes of the class were completely out of control.  I’ve never heard people laugh that loud.” 

The Comic smiled and Dad took back over, asking, “Did she send you to the office?”   

“One of the girls asked Mrs. McGee that very question, and she said couldn’t because of what she said to me.”

I shook my head.   He totally got away with it. 

Jeff continued, “But you have to hear what happened next.  Two periods later, I walked in the lunchroom and the whole place went crazy. Screaming and laughing.  People I didn’t even know were high fiving me and yelling ‘90210! Yes!’  I felt like a superstar!”  

I responded, “So when school was out did they say, “Jeffrey has left the building?”  Sometimes The Comic in me is hard to silence. 

And for the rest of the week Jeff was a student celebrity. People kept yelling 90210! at him in the halls.  Kids in his other classes clamored around him as he retold the story.  

 

It even went beyond the student body.  Two weeks later while I was at a Booster Club meeting, one of the coaches pulled me aside and said,”Hey, I heard what Jeff said in Mrs. McGee’s class.  Man, that was funny.  We’ve all been laughing about that.  I guess he’s a chip off the old block.”

I couldn’t argue with that.  

Soon after the incident,  Jeff told me he wanted to go see George again when he’s back in town. The Dad in me wasn’t so sure, but The Comic in me said, “Absolutely!”  As usual, I let those two fight it out.  

But you know who won.  

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