Telephones - What The Cell?

 Decision, decisions.  We have been seriously considering  taking the land line out of our home. That’s because now about the only incoming calls we get  are from a nice man who reminds us that our chance to get an extended car warranty has almost expired. It will also mean giving up the phone number we have had since the Eisenhower administration. Just call me sentimental. What’s holding us back is the spotty cell service we have in our neighborhood.

Of course, taking out a land line is something that would have never been discussed 30 years ago. Back then, the thought that a house phone could be replaced by a telephone that’s totally portable, totally wireless, can transmit information, and is owned by everyone north of 9 years old was unthinkable. Nowadays it’s not even uncommon.  

 My granddaughter can’t even imagine that there was a time when a home only had one phone. And when I told her that THE phone had a receiver that was tethered to it’s main body with a cord she looks at me like I’m speaking Aramaic.  Golly, how did we even survive without a phone you couldn’t carry everywhere?  It was truly the Dark Ages.  

Some of you can remember when the phone company finally made an extra long phone cord available.  Every teenager in America wanted to make that day a national holiday.  With an extra long cord, teens could take the phone in another room, close the door, and get away from meddling parents. Of course in a few days, the line would be such a tangled mess that you were forced to stand on a chair, hold one end of the cord, and let the receiver dangle so it could unwind. 

Now everyone asks Siri to make their phone calls.  But, not long ago, we had rotary phones. That meant you had to physically dial someone’s phone number.  Yes, I said dial. There was no such thing as push buttons.  It was all rotary, baby!  That actually had some advantages.  When I began dating, the rotary phone always helped me when I needed to work up the nerve to ask a girl out.  After using the phone book to get her phone number, I would struggle over making the call.  About a half dozen times, I would start dialing and then hang up.  Finally, I would get to the last digit of her phone number - almost.  By holding my index finger in the number hole, I stopped the call from going thru until I got the last bit of courage up. Only then would I let go and complete the call. Of course, sometimes I got the dreaded busy signal, which meant I had to go through the whole process again.  Teen angst.  I wonder how many girls realize we went thru all that just to ask them out?

 

Rotary phones also made it possible for radio stations to have call-in contests.  Once my dialing finger worked it’s magic and I was the 10th caller on WSGN - The Big 610.  I won 6 - 45 RPM single records.  Of course I didn’t have a record player (not a stereo), so I traded them to a buddy for comic books.  Ah, the simple pre-teen life that is lost on this generation. 

When I was a kid, we actually made a phone call to get the correct time and the temperature.  Imagine my surprise when I learned that after all these years there’s still a number you can call for that.  How do I know?   I Googled it on my iPhone of course.  

Once I knew this service was still available, curiosity got the better of me and I made the call. But before I got the time and temp, I had to listen to a commercial for Life Alert. That gives you an idea of the people who are calling this number. I’m pretty sure it’s people who still have rotary phones.  

When I told my 10 year old granddaughter this story, she was quite confused. 

“Granddaddy, why did you have to call somebody just to find out what time it was?”, she asked.  

 I answered, “Well, honey.  That’s easy. It’s because I probably forgot to wind my wristwa——- oh, forget it!” 

I wasn’t mentally prepared to go down two rabbit holes in one day. 

Other thoughts:

The cell phone ended pay phones and phone booths.  Where is Superman changing now?

With cell phones, prank calls are no more. You will never pick up the phone and hear,

“Hey, is your refrigerator running?”

Or, “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”

Also gone forever is a voice that says,

“This is the operator, may I help you?”

Or, hearing your Dad yell,”Somebody answer that phone and see who it is!”

I must admit writing this piece makes me feel like I’m listening to my Grandfather talk about buying nickel Cokes during the Great Depression.  It’s kind of embarrassing.  But one day in the distant future, my kids will be doing the same thing, saying stuff to their grandkids like, “When I was growing up, we played a video game called Pong.”  

I’m sure of that.  It’s the cycle of life. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go.  My Granddaughter is FaceTiming me to show me her new t-shirt. 

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