Southerners Beware! It’s Fake Spring!

It struck me when I was driving on a little back road near my house.  There in a small, well kept yard several forsythia were blooming.  (aka Yellow Bells).  Amid the unraked leaves the shrubs stood, flanking the dormant  Bermuda grass.  Their bursts of bright yellow were in sharp contrast to the muted colors all around them.  I’ve seen this before and I knew what it meant. Fake Spring is here.


Fake Spring is a season that most Southerners are aware of, but don’t pay any attention to.  All they have to do is look around - the signs are everywhere.   It’s not just forsythia. Lots of plants are fooled by Fake Spring.  They start blooming, only to be frozen during the proverbial “Cold Snap”.   Look around.  Check the blooms!  You’ll see tulip trees, red buds, purple thrift, and last and certainly least, Bradford pear trees.    


 By the way, I’m not a fan of the Bradford pear. They’re not natural looking and they’re not pretty. They bloom too early, they seem to be in everyone’s yard, and as most homeowners with a chainsaw will tell you, a good strong wind will rip the limbs right off the trunk.  And be careful!  These so-called trees have thorns sharper than a wolverine’s claws.  South Carolina has outlawed these landscaping horrors, and every other self-respecting southern state should too. Get rid of them - along with snakes, spiders, and alligators.


I digress.  Fake Spring fools people too.  Well meaning men and women will go to Lowes and buy $537 worth of Impatiens , dig 175 holes, and lovingly place their new plants in the ground. Then the Cold Snap strikes again.  Here’s a PSA - don’t plant those tomato plants yet!   


Everyone should know about Fake Spring by now.  But I think people are so tired of winter that they just lose their minds. There are folks wanting to make homemade ice cream on a 78 degree March day, only to be huddled around a bowl of chili 24 hours later when the high is 31.  I’ve seen golfers in late February begin their round in shorts and short sleeve shirts.  Four hours later, they’re walking up the 18th hole dressed like they’re with Admiral Byrd on an expedition to Antarctica.  


And now it’s here. That sneaky, put on your shorts, but have your winter coat handy, season is upon all of us. Think I’m kidding?  Today the high is 66. Tomorrow snow is in the forecast.  Beware!  


There is one good thing about Fake Spring though. It means Real Spring’s not far behind it.  


Gotta go now.  I’m gonna put on my shorts and T shirt and head to the store to buy some milk and bread. 


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#bewareoffakespring

#realspringiscoming

#asouthernthing


Visit my blog for other stories: Mylifeasahobby@blogger.com

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