The Official State Toy



I just read that a couple of states have official toys.  I don’t get it.  I’m not sure why a state has to have an official anything, but they do. Out of curiosity, I checked and my home state of Alabama has all kind of official things: an official motto, official tree, official nut, official bird, official insect, official song, official gemstone and even an official fair.  But no official toy - yet. 


Kansas was the first state to claim an official toy; an Etch A Sketch - which was invented and manufactured in Ohio.  I don’t get it. That makes about as much sense as having an official toy in the first place. Mercedes are made in Alabama, and they’re considered German cars. It just wouldn’t be right for us to claim them. Besides, the official vehicle of Alabama should be an old pickup truck.  


Mississippi made the Teddy Bear their official toy a few years ago.  Unlike Kansas, at least they have some kind of connection to the toy.  The Teddy Bear was invented after Teddy Roosevelt went bear hunting in Mississippi. Thank goodness he wasn’t hunting possums.  Teddy Possums just doesn’t have a good ring to it. 


Maybe states should have official toys. Why not?  That way, the lawmakers in every state can waste even more time with frivolous legislation.  I’ll generously offer a few   suggestions. 


California - Barbie. 


It’s perfect. A blonde with a vacant stare and plastic breasts who lives in a Malibu beach house and has no visible means of support. That’s a no brainer  - just like Barbie.  


Washington D.C - Transformers. 


Like my grandfather said , “It doesn’t matter who you vote for because if they’re good when they go in, they’ll be crooked when they come out.” By the way, Transformers narrowly beat out Monkey Bars. 


Alabama - Rubik’s Cube


With a Rubik’s Cube, you fiddle with it, fool with it, try to change it around, and eventually get frustrated because you can’t figure it out. Just like Alabama’s  state Constitution.


0klahoma - Twister. 


‘Nuff said. 


Florida - Slinky. 


Slinky claims it can easily go down a flight of stairs. But everyone knows it really can’t - like most of the retired folks in Florida. 


Colorado - The Pet Rock.  


A pet rock just sits there and does nothing. It’s a fine match for the state with legalized marijuana. 


Minnesota - Frisbee. 


It’s great outdoor fun in the summer, but not in the winter. 


Texas - Mouse trap. 


Remember Mouse Trap?  You went through countless gyrations, all to catch one mouse. That has to be what their border patrol feels like. 


 Nevada - Nintendo.  


You play a game for hours and when you finally get up, you have nothing to show for it. 


Georgia - Hot Wheels.


Anyone who’s been on I-285 in Atlanta understands. It’s NASCAR with minivans. 


New Hampshire - Chess. 


Honestly, I just randomly came up with this one. I have no idea what  New Hampshire does. 


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