My Life As A Hobby

Forty years is a hec kuva long wait for a tee time. But that’s how much time has elapsed since I played golf with one of my college fraternity brothers, Mike.  When I was  fresh out of college part of my sales territory included Huntsville, Alabama.  So, when I was in town I would  always make it a point to visit Mike and his wife who were working there.   We would try to play golf in the afternoon then drink a couple of beers at his house.    Just two guys in their early twenties beginning families and transitioning from college to the adult world.    Then Mike got transferred. My territory changed. And what’s worse, life began to get in our way. Mortgages, car payments, children, and work became the center of our existence.   Newfound, nearby friends began to push the old, far-away friends to the background. It wasn’t malicious or conscious, but it happened anyway. And so the days melted into weeks, then months, then year...

Ah, nature. There’s nothing like it. Beautiful scenery, fresh air - it’s invigorating, it’s serene - especially if you’re out in it.    That’s my perspective. Or, you can take my wife’s view:    interaction with the great outdoors is uncomfortable at best, and could even lead to a painful death.    I’ve known her feelings about this for a long time. So why I talked her into going tubing on a river is a question I still ask myself many years later.   My friend Mickey Parham got me hooked on tubing.    He had discovered a 3.5 mile stretch of the Locust Fork River, just north of Birmingham. It’s beautiful.    The scenery is jaw dropping - huge boulders, sandy beaches, steep bluffs and even small waterfalls.    The take out point is at a picturesque covered bridge. But this is not always a lazy river beer float. If the water level is low it can relatively peaceful, with a few bumpy stretches.    Howeve...

An old high school friend    of mine died last week. Don fought the good fight against kidney cancer for 8 years. He was funny, full of life, and thought of others.    So many people were touched by him. Just a few weeks ago he read one of my posts about my son and mailed me a prayer towel with a note of encouragement. I was truly moved. No doubt Don practiced his    Christian faith.  Don’s death has caused me to pause and think.    At my age this is becoming a more frequent occurrence. And it will continue. Before my retirement I began to reflect about being in my mid sixties. To me it’s a perfect football analogy. I know at the age of 66, I’m more than likely in the 4th quarter of my life.    I hope it’s the early 4th quarter, but I don’t know.   In football, the 4th quarter usually defines the outcome of the game. Certainly everything leading to the 4th quarter has importance. Many of the key plays that h...

  I want you to know that I am not a communist or a socialist.    For me, it’s free enterprise all the way.      However, recent events have    occurred in my life that make me believe there should be one exception to the free market rule.    Now I firmly believe    there is one industry in this country that a monopoly would    actually improve.     And if we decided to monopolize this industry, it would save countless Americans hours of frustration and millions of dollars.     Yep - I believe there should only be only one company in the United States that manufactures socks.     I make this declaration after going thru my sock drawer for about three hours trying unsuccessfully to match up socks.   How many shades of black are there?    If you look in my sock drawer, a.k.a. the black hole,    you would say about 207.    So...

My friends who’ve seen me do stand up comedy generally ask a couple of questions.  The first one is always, “ Where did you come up with that?”  And it’s  followed by, “Why do you act that way?  I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years.   Although the comedic genes run in both sides of the family, I think my father should get much of the credit. In the words of Hank Williams Jr., “It’s a family tradition.” I think you’ll understand when you hear this story.   My uncle worked in Spain for many years.  So we always looked forward to his box of Christmas gifts.  They were always so ... European.  One particular year my Dad received a beret my uncle bought on a trip to Paris.  A tam with a little knit ball on top. For whatever reason, it was perfect for him. He wore it everywhere - the golf course, around the house, even when he went to work.  When he put on the beret and got in his VW bug, he looked like he bel...

I never speed  when I’m passing thru Kimberly, Alabama. I won't exceed the speed limit If I’m late for an appointment, a show, or just a drive to the lake. It’s not because it’s a speed trap - it isn’t.  The sleepy bedroom community just north of Birmingham only has three police cars and rarely, if ever, do they set up radar to catch unwary travelers.  About the closest thing to a police sting is when the officers park their cruisers near the elementary school in the morning and afternoon to ensure the safety of the kids.  But, school or no school, radar or no radar, cops or no cops - I do not exceed the 30 mile per hour speed limit. Why?  Because I kept my promise - a promise I made over  25 years ago.    As my fledging stand up comedy career began to escalate into a nice part time job, it created the opportunity for more gigs.  Consequently, I branched out to other cities that were within driving distance from Birmingham....

Despite all of the terrible things this Corona virus has caused, I’m thankful for many things.   I am thankful that as I write this, we are clear of the virus, all my boys are still working, and I haven’t killed my wife during this time of social distancing (although it could be considered justifiable homicide).   However, the virus has scuttled my plans to see the Rolling  Stones this summer.  And at their age, This Could be The Last Time.    Whenever I think about the Stones, I always remember the first concert I ever attended had them on the billing.  That began a long run I had with Mick and the boys.  In fact,  I’ve seen them in every decade from the sixties to the present.  That’s right, the Sixties.  This particular concert was in 1965, and I was 12 years old.  It was sponsored by WVOK in Birmingham, Alabama - billed as one of their “Shower of Stars” events. And this one lived up to its billing.  Headlining ...