My Life As A Hobby

I never officially retired from comedy.     I kind of faded into the sunset.  I suppose I could trace the time back to when Jay Leno quit the Tonite Show.  He tried to help me get together with Jimmy Fallon, but it just didn’t work out. And when I stopped writing jokes every day for Jay,  maybe the sense of urgency to “think funny” stopped.      But I firmly believe that the cumulative effect of my son’s drug addiction, coupled with him being shot, arrested, and spending 7 years in a federal prison, caused something to die in me.  It was comedy. What used to be a burning desire to write and perform shrunk to a pilot light. It didn’t seem to matter anymore. I have told close friends that dealing with all the problems my son had raped me of my spirit.  It was collateral damage from his drug use. Addiction sucks.   So, aside from the occasional smart alec remark on social media, I left comedy alone.  Oh, I would occasionally find ...

As woke as this world has become, as much as everyone is concerned about insensitive remarks, as much as it seems that every person in this country has a Gotcha Mentality, I’m writing to tell you not to give up hope.  I believe there are still lots of people that prefer to laugh rather than accuse someone of sexism, racism, communism, anti-Semitism, cannibalism, atheism, plagiarism, or Lord knows how many other kinds of -isms. Why?  Because of an experience I’m about to share with you.  I had been doing Thursday night visitations on behalf of our Methodist church for years.  It’s no  typo - I’m a Methodist,  and I did visits.  So, I’m sure if there are any Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses reading this, they probably need smelling salts. That’s because Methodists doing church visits are about as common as BBQ pork restaurants in Jerusalem.                .    The premise was simple.  Every w...

An early pic of me and Steve Harvey. I just read where Steve Harvey said he won’t be doing stand up any more.  And the reason is one that we have all heard before. Steve calls it the cancel culture.  According to him, you have to watch every word you say for fear of reprisal from someone who gets their feelings hurt.  In addition, if a joke isn’t in line with what you are “supposed to believe” you are going to get hammered.  What a shame.  Steve Harvey is one of the funniest guys I’ve ever seen. Years ago, I was fortunate enough to open for him at the Comedy Club in Birmingham, Alabama.  This was early in his stand up career.  Even after watching his act a half dozen times, I still found myself howling with laughter. I knew he was on the fast track to the big time.  And to have him quit stand up because of what he calls “political correctness” is a huge loss for anyone with a sense of humor.   Of course, Steve’s 100% correct. People just can’...

I’m sitting in my living room exhaling in relief. Why?  Because  I just ripped about 10 of those sticky heart sensors off of my chest.  Did it hurt?   If you’ve watched the scene in the 40 Year Old Virgin when Steve Carrell gets his body waxed, you know the answer.  Just hearing the sound of hair being torn from my body is painful. Worse, when I looked in the bathroom mirror, all the bare spots on my chest makes me look like I have mange.  I know it doesn’t compare to women giving birth, but it was no fun.  This is what can happen when you spend an evening in the emergency room.  My trip to the hospital came up unexpectedly.  I woke up not feeling great, and by mid-afternoon had some tightness in my chest.  This triggered one of my Fundamental Rules of Life: we have two eyes, two ears, two kidneys, two lungs, and one heart - which needs to work properly in order to power everything else.  With that thought in mind, the next step was...

Ferris Bueller was right when he said life moves pretty fast.  Does it ever.  That realization hit me square in the face when I recently saw a  Facebook post from one of my lifelong friends, Jane.  She was electronically celebrating an important milestone in her life.  Fifty years ago, Jane and her husband Wayne had their first date - a blind date.  In the text she mentioned that he still had the original piece of paper with her telephone number.  As I read it, I smiled, and a flood of memories washed over me.  Because a half century ago, I was the one who gave Wayne her phone number.  Jane was my high school girl-friend.    Every boy needs a girl-friend.  Not to be confused with girlfriend, a girl-friend is a confidant and advisor, especially in matters concerning the opposite sex.  I didn’t always take Jane’s advice, but I always sought it.  Besides, I knew that she was already someone’s girlfriend.  She had be...

Being a proud grandparent, I’ve decided that 2 years is an especially wonderful age for a grandchild.  They talk pretty well, they’re just about potty trained, and they’re still unencumbered when it comes to social graces.  Come to think about it, that’s pretty much the way my wife describes me.  And the questions. “What is this? What’s this for?  Why are you doing this?”  They are little sponges absorbing everything they can as the world unfolds before them.  This combination of cuteness and  curiosity, coupled with a sense of wonder, makes Christmas an especially wonderful time for a two year old.  The fear of Santa is over.  The concept of gifting is basically understood.  And the classic Christmas movies are new and fresh to them.   And so it came about yesterday that we got to introduce Addy, my two year old grand princess, to one of my favorite holiday flicks, The Polar Express.   It didn’t come about easily.  Anothe...

“Sometimes it only takes one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.”                                 Jackie Chan Even though this happened years ago, the lesson it teaches is still applicable today.  Maybe now more than ever.  Read it, enjoy it, take it to heart.   I sat down with a cup of coffee and looked at the pile of papers on my desk.  “Just another typical Monday morning,” I thought. Time to write a to-do list and get a few things done before the phone started ringing.  My concentration was broken when Rita, a work associate, walked in my office and sat down across from me.  It was the first time I had seen her in several days since she had been in Orlando for a meeting.  “How was your trip?”, I asked.  Her eyes widened. “You are not going to believe what happened!”, she said.   I leaned forward to listen, my interest piqued. ...